((((LOBO)))))
I "THINK" I know where you are in this Because I struggle with this also.
I feel it gets harder to detach after they have some recovery under their belt. We start to see what we tend to call "normal" behavior in them so we take off our recovery hat a little and put on our plain ole mom hat. Because of this we let down our defense walls that we had put up to handle their addicted behaviors. This can be good in many ways.
But, if/when these behaviors come back it tends to shock us more even as we are surprised to find we can still be shocked and surprised by it.
With me, the relapse of my AS seemed to hit me quicker, maybe it was because the first time, had me watching a slow progress into addiction that had me sliding slowly out of denial and into reality(?) t
The second time with me I knew the signs and so was hit pretty quickly.
ALL the emotions of the first battle came back all at once. neither I nor the Addict had a chance to escape my emotions when faced with that assault on my brain.
I had thought I was in such a good place and was on top of my recovery.Hmmmm.
all that fear, frustration, disappointment, and especially anger and HOPELESSNESS came back.
even as I knew relapses happen, I must have thought the first time was my AS best chance at getting this.
All these feelings seemed to override so much of my recovery. I had to go to lots of meetings, read lots of Literature and give it all back to my HP. the good thing was that it came back to me pretty quickly.
It sounds like you are doing so much better than I did.
you immediately knew a boundary had been crossed and addressed it. And your AD acted immediately as we have all learned is expected. ( They never say "thank you mom for enlightening me").
So you did good. Her avoiding you says so much. I have learned the angrier my AS is at my response to something usually shows how close I am to whats really going on.
and I know you know this but I'm going to say this anyways.
You cannot push her into a downward spiral into alcohol use so squash that Little voice.
Prayers for both of you. She'll get it when she's supposed to.
Cathy:praying