I think that if he wants rehab, he can figure a way to do it, without your help. If his dad wants it so bad, let HIM foot the entire bill!
I am a recovering crack addict. I never did rehab. My dad offered to pay for one, but I knew I could get into a very good rehab for free....just didn't want it at the time. The only "rehab" I went to was jail....made me get clean in a hurry.
I quit smoking crack when I got tired of dealing with all the consequences of my using. After jail, I quit for a good long time, but was clean...NOT in recovery. I relapsed for a week, and I finally realized that I just don't want to do it any more. This time I'm working on recovery....I've changed how I deal with life (thanks, in great part to my friends here at SR).
I left my XABF behind, because he doesn't want to quit. He's perfectly content "hustling to get high". I still love him, but I refuse to let any man or drug bring me down again.
You and the kids deserve better than to be dragged down any more by his addiction.
Another thing, about aversion therapy. If aversion therapy worked so good, why didn't I quit the first time I got locked up....or beaten up...or had nowhere to go for the night? Just my opinion, but I don't think we quit until we darned good and ready. Rehab actually DOES help those who are at that point. But since it seems that his DAD is the one so gung-ho on getting him in rehab, sounds like the ADDICT is just going along for the ride.
Hugs and prayers!
Amy