Old 03-26-2008, 09:13 AM
  # 4 (permalink)  
Cupicake
'Round and 'Round I Go....
 
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Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: New York, NY
Posts: 478
You are not irrational and you are not being the "B" word. Life with an addict can and will be hell on earth as the addiction progresses. It will drag any and everyone it can down with it including helpless children...it has no mercy.

You do what is right for you and the kids and what you are comfortable with doing.

My exah went to a 28 day rehab program 3 times...thank goodness not at my financial expense. His job has a great employee assistance unit and health insurance. Each time he came out he ended up using again...first time was after 5 months, second time was after a month, third time was after 8 months. His DOC was/is cocaine/crack by the way. I divorced him after his second stint. I personally couldn't do this yo-yo with him. Living with active addiction....you might as well slowly cut off each one of my limbs.

It took me a while but I realized that divorcing him didn't mean that I didn't love him anymore. I did and still do...through all he has put me through...I still love him but I know I can't live with him and I can't have a healthy relationship with him. And I definitey can't sit by and watch him slowly kill himself while his addiction slowly kills me in the process. The stress alone caused health problems in me.

Now when he uses it causes great sadness in me but not living with it has made a huge difference in my sanity and serenity.
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