BindereDunnat

I've been trying to change it for years. Too many years.. So I finally worked up the courage to LEAVE. It's been a long while since I've posted here- but I wanted to come back and ask a couple of questions of those of you who've been through it with an active, heavily addicted spouse. My husband's DOC is coke- he smokes it. (crack, purified coke, whatever he's been doing)

It's destroyed our family, terrorized our two beautiful children, and made a complete mess of our finances. ("Credit"??? HA!)

Now he's convinced his (fairly well-off) father that he can get thru treatment and fix it. His Dad, ever the businessman, has drawn up a plan for getting his dear son through rehab at Schick-Shadel in Seattle.

And dear Father in Law expects me to shoulder 40% of the expenses for it- while he and his ex wife each take care of 30%.

First question: Does anyone have experience with Schick Shadel? They claim to have a phenomenal success rate- but have your loved ones been there, done that, bought the tee shirt, and then gone right back to the same old same old? My hubby and his parents all seem to believe that 10 days in rehab, and he's gonna come out all better, our family will... bing! be magically back together and all will be right with the world once again.

I don't buy it. So if you have experiences you could share, please do. I apologize if this question has been asked and answered to death already- I didn't see a search function here on the board.

Actually, I guess that's my only question. I'll move from that right into my complaint, (and shameless solicitation for backup and moral support....) I have no desire to contribute even one thin dime to this "recovery" plan. For the past ten years (closer to 12, but I'll add up all the time he was sober and give him a little credit) I've paid with everything to try and keep our family afloat. All my jewelry, including my wedding set, anniversary ring, jewelry that other people had given the children, etc etc.. Anything of even marginal value (all the kids' DVDs, music CDs, players... you name it. And I'm sure you can.) have been sacrificed to his rampant addiction. We're emotional wrecks from living in the warzone created by his drug-induced psychosis.. It's not that I don't love him forever, or want to see him well. It's just that...I'm angry. And I gave at the office. I'm tapped out, and it's all I can do to keep it together for my kids, provide food and shelter for them, and try to save up for a car, since mine was repoed last year... Life in Hell. I don't have anything else to contribute to his cause.

Am I being a selfish, irrational bee word? Am I the bad guy here? Your insights and opinions are sincerely appreciated.