Katie,
I did all of this and more with my ADS. He is my eldest and put me through hell and back. (actually I let him)
Once I kicked my son out of our home, changed the locks and left him to it he decided to change. It took him some years though, but once I said NO to everything he wanted, he realized he was on his own. I use to rescue him all the time. He emotionally manipulated me and he too thought he had some god damn given right to do this because he was my son.
Be strong and help him to be a responsible adult. He will sink or swim but you have to find out and let him grow up and do it on his own. I know as parents we want the best for our kids and it took me along time to realize I was just adding fuel to the fire by giving him everything he begged for.
Good LUck