Hi XO,
Welcome...I am so sorry you are going through such a tough time. I do know from the alcoholic in my life--my sister-- that the intense need to "be right" is a big part of my sister's disease...she will go out of her way to prove that she's "right" and everyone else is "wrong". I think it's a big part of her being in denial of the disease and her general self-esteem: being "right" makes her feel better and allows her to not fully acknowledge what this disease has done to her.
But what I've come to realize is that it's neither about being "right" or "wrong"...it's about the choices we make. You can choose to agree to disagree with your wife and leave it at that. You can choose to leave the room or discontinue a conversation when it's clear that she's behaving irrationally. This disease is terrible in that it robs us of our loved ones, but knowing that we have choices in how we deal with the alcoholic's behavior is very comforting.
I just read a great book (which I keep telling everyone about
): Addict in the Family by Beverly Conyers. It really opened a lot of doors for me in terms of understanding.
Obviously I cannot advise you on whether or not you should leave your wife. But I can advise that you are doing the right thing by seeking help for yourself. Try to focus on the present rather than the future: what will be will be. For now do what is best for you and know that you did not cause this, you cannot control it, and you cannot cure it!
Stick around...