sekular

I have endured the same feelings at any twelve-step meeting. People told me in order to connect with my higher power I should just focus on anything at first, you know, like that tree or that lamp or that lake. It was futile. How in the hell could I put faith into a tree or a lake I said to myself?

SeekingSelf - I am now five years in an active state of recovery. A couple of years ago I finally realized that I have a choice in my recovery. I have personally recognized in myself that I do not wish to have religion or sponsors telling me what to do or being told to find a home group or being told to get involved by making coffee or told to get a higher power or told that I must label myself an addict or an alcoholic, well you get the picture. Being close to people like holding hands at the end of the meeting was just not me either. I was tired of being stagnant in my recovery by not being able to drive it myself or to do what I felt was right for me, afterall I am the "expert" on me. Not a sponsor or counselor or anyone. In my heart of hearts I always felt that way but I faked it because at that time it was all I was told would work. Until I actually Googled 'twelve-step alternatives' did I realize there were other ways to recover successfully without religion and all the other stuff. Twelve-step programs do not work for everyone just like secular does not work for everyone, just like cold turkey does not. This is an okay ideology!

In saying all of the above, I would highly encourage people to check out twelve-step meetings because it just might work for you. I have personally told people to go and check them out for themselves and see if it feels right and if it does then great. Some people need and want that type of structure.

Alternatively, there are many organizations out there that offer a wonderful secular recovery experience. I have recently discovered LifeRing Secular Recovery. LifeRing Home Page of LifeRing Secular Recovery takes a wholistic approach to recovery in that one should use whatever tools are available and whatever feels comfortable to the individual to achieve a successful recovery path. LifeRing works to maintain a motivation for total abstinence and to better manage our thoughts, feelings and behaviors. We do this in a peer supported, self-help and secular environment. Secular meaning NO RELIGION.

We meet in a circle where everyone can see each other. We do a check-in called "how was your week" by simply stating your name, clean time if you wish and then the highlights and lowlights of your week. We then take a topic from the check-in, maybe work through something someone encountered in the last week or choose other topics to go on. We then start a conversation where everyone can participate (with a moderator). We allow cross communication interaction which is so refreshing in a group setting. People learn how to communicate and share ideas, offer feedback if the other member is okay with that. We treat people like humans and allow them to feel like they are in control of their life and not under the control of someone/something else. We utilize a comprehensive 300 page workbook called Recovery by Choice that takes one through their recovery page by page with exercises and thought provoking questions to inspire one to really dig deep. We use this as part of our self-help component.

Very refreshing and enlightening stuff. Recovery does not have to be so complicated in my life. I still work on similar things as other people in other recovery programs but LifeRing's and other secular groups like SMART recovery totally have it right for ME.

In my personal opinion, I need to be the driver of my recovery. I need to feel empowered to enjoy my recovery free of all the things I mentioned above. There is only one person in charge of me and that person is ME. Not God, not my higher power, not the tree, not a sponsor, ME! Some people told me, oh don't worry about the God stuff it will come. Don't worry about I said, it is a major part of the program. I tried to get it, it did not work and now I have moved on and feel amazing and free to choose any path of recovery that works for me.

Good luck to you!