Originally Posted by
marle 
frankly, It does hurt but not seeing my daughter has been about my choices too. I know that when I talk recovery with her and challenge her denial about what she is doing that I will get "no contact". I also know that being around her too much is not good for me because I see the progression of her disease. . thanks, Marle
Yes, and yes. I have spend many hours with my AD since septmeber (year before that, hardly at all). hard to say which year was more painful or harder to get thru. when she was missing, all my fear and pain was about my speculations. Now, it is all about what I see when I look at her, what I hear when she talks to me, and what I know of the facts of her life and diseases. The progression is terrible and it hurts. I did make that decision to spend less time with her, like you, after this last insane month of hell.
talking recovery doesn't seem to put mine off, but i know that is her extreme need for approval. then afterwards, she does whatever she wants to anyway.
You know, a thought just occured to me. Take it for what its worth, since its just a thought (not a thought thru thought!)-
Maybe we are powerless over our feelings about our AD's. I mean to the extent that we try to control how we feel by limiting contact, initiating more contact, controlling where, when, how long and under what circumstances. Is it just more 'control stuff' this time of our feelings - when really we should do whatever seems good at the time? Are our feelings - the degree of pain - something to just surrender to also, or is the amount/type of contact
with them a really important factor in the degree of pain? No answers, just questions from me.