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Old 03-13-2008, 11:06 PM
  # 14 (permalink)  
DogGrrrrl
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Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: South Jersey
Posts: 2
I'm only on the end of day two so some aren't yet present tense...

I don't miss the men I don't remember sleeping with through college and beyond.
I don't miss the massive bruises from what?
I don't miss having to ask something I was already told after 2 glasses of wine the night before.
I won't miss peeing in inappropriate places like closets or low kitchen cabinets.
I don't miss the DWI and the totalled car. Well, I miss the car and the license.
I don't miss the friends who chose to stop calling rather than be supportive.
I won't miss when the 10# of wine fat leaves. I don't like the way my body has changed in the last 2 years.
I don't miss my lack of motivation to work or do much of anything
I don't miss what it's done to my sex life with my boyfriend - if I haven't passed out before we've done anything, I don't remember it any way. I've always been a randy girl but heavy drinking seemed to really lower my libido.
I don't miss the hollow gut feeling and the shaking. Especially when someone is watching me write, hand over a credit card, EAT SOUP!
I didn't miss the recently acquired inability to hold food down mid-day. Once I had wine with dinner, I was okay.
I don't miss the paranoia of everyone smelling it
I won't miss the puffiness in my face when it goes
I won't miss the guilt, the hiding, the utter weakness
I won't miss the heavy recycle can each week
I SO wont miss the withdrawl (again and again)

I do miss thinking I was above-average attractive when looking in the mirror.

I won't miss wondering why I'm trying to kill myself in this way.

I hope I can oneday not-miss the outrageously high blood pressure I've gotten in the last 6 months which is scaring the bejeebus out of me as my head throbs, shooting pains in my chest/neck and knowing I did it to myself. I only hope it gets under control once I'm further from the gate, before I have a stroke.

I won't miss becoming my disgraceful mother Death by Drink.

I hope I wont have to miss my liver or kidneys one day. I hope I wont have to miss my teeth from all those nights of passing out and not brushing.

I know I'm still at that stage of withdrawl and the hypertension being so terrifying that having a few sounds good compared to this. I went 5 days last week and blew it when colleagues suggested happy hour and I thought - eh, just this day, nothing til the weekend (it was Weds). I drank every night until this Tuesday night being the last.
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