can someone grow in recovery if they dont believe they are an addict?? he stopped using i believe because i have found no evidence of his using...he is going to bed at 11:00 every night, waking to go to work everyday....the only suspicious thing is that he had a package delivered to our house from india--he said it was a dermotology cream but i havent seen this so called cream.... i just wondered if he may be ordering neds on the internet whcih he did in the past--maybe he stopped using coke--but is substituing it for something else...i hope not.
i also think he tends to hear what he wants to hear from the therapist --- in other words..he takes what he says and interprets it in a way that its what he wants to hear, maybe not what he actually said or is implying.
When i was crying in the session because i was saying i went through hell over the past 2 years, he took that as blame and he couldnt bear to hear it...
it seems that he cannot look at himself and take responsibility....or at least he cant bear to hear it and he cant admit it to others and even to himself...he needs to hear that he is a good person, good father, good husband...and doesnt see that a good fatehr or husband doesnt do drugs...he wants empathy from me that he was in such a horrible place that he turned to drugs to cope--well i had empathy but all the lies, his behavior and such turned the empathy to pain, anger and resentment....
maybe i can look at it as i needed to grow through this to gain insight, and to grow stronger.....i dont know....maybe i can put a positive spin on it...but its hard when he wont take full responsiblity and still says i provoked him when he grabbed me...and that i had no right getting an RO......