Originally Posted by
drainedwife 
he also is blaming me for everything--that it is my fault that the kids act the way they do--that by me ignoring him, they see me being cruel to him..and they act out,,,also he blames me for not understandint saving years ago, and so he couldnt cope with all of the pressures and turned to drugs....also he said that he didnt intend tohurt me so he shouldnt be punished by me....in therapy i was crying and said that i have been through so much the past 2 years, and that made him feel terrible (the poor thing), so he in turn is making me feel terrible because i do that to him everyday.....
the therapist basically called the drug issue a lack of being able to manage his life, and wanted to know how his ind. therapist was helping him with that....
Oh wow. I know what you are talking about. Not sure how to help, but I am there too. My AH has stopped... supposedly. He thinks I am terrible because I can't get by it and just be his wife. I have lived with this for 23 years. My kids are so angry with me. They don't know that Dad has an addiction problem. My AH says, " daughter is fine with me. She told me the other day that I don't smell like smoke anymore when she hugs me. She accepts me and is ok with things, why aren't you? When I asked if she knew that the smoke was weed and if he had acknowledged that the response was , "no, I told her I was smoking cigars". He told her that I didn't like it though so he stopped. CIGARS!!!!! I don't want to tell my daughter the real truth, but I can't stand that she is growing to hate me. AH says, "well, if you want everything to be ok, and you want the kids to be happy w/you, then start being my wife again." "The kids don't treat me badly." I am so angry, sad, scared.... I don't know what at this point. I can't just pretend nothing ever happened and go back to being wifey. However, if I leave I am afraid that the kids will abandon me. We have been to marriage counseling... he refuses to see that there is an issue. I am the one withe problem you know. I need help!!!!!