Howdy JT!
Deserving is such a subjective thing. Who knows if that woman "deserves" to be treated like a movie starlet during contract negotiations? I rather think that deserving is unmeasurable, and that we get hung up in that notion too often.
Scenario-
The addict in your life comes home with his eyes dialated out to his ears, sweating, talking like an idiot and lighter the fifty bucks you sent him to the grocery with... and also without the groceries. You ask "Did you spend the grocery money on drugs" He says " No, I was mugged by the abominable snowman. I got snow in my eyes is why they're so bloodshot. I got fur in my mouth is why I'm coughing. Have you seen my sunglasses?"
You think... "I asked a stupid question, I deserve a stupid answer."
Whoa! Deserve? That implies that a lie is justice and that an addict is a qualified judge, jury and executioner.
Or you might think... "I should have expected that." Maybe. It's impossible to not have some expectations. After all, the sun has risen every day of our lives. I rather expect it to come up tomorrow, you? I expect sugar to be sweet. I expect an aspirin to help my headache. If someone lies to you with some regularity, you may come to expect lies from them. Does that mean it is just for them to lie to you? That you "deserve" it? That's really a deep question to struggle with over grocery money.
To me the issue is not what I deserve. What I deserve is between me and HP and in my opinion can't be measured by another human being.
Expectations? How can we help it? You turn the key and the car starts. That's normal. Unless you know the battery is unhooked. Then you "expect'' nothing when you turn the key. These are things we learn from experience. The crazy part is when you know there is no battery in the car, you turn the key, and get pissed that it won't start, then wonder if you "deserve" it. Or do you say "I deserve a car with a battery!" ?
Whether you deserve it or not... if your goal is to get across town without the means of public transportation or a cab.... you WANT a car with a battery. That's not a deserving. That's not an expectation. It's a standard. A requirement that meets a purpose or desire.
Okay, you've got this batteryless car that you can't expect to meet your standard of reliable transportation. You've got that down. You can't expect it. Do you lower your standard? Do you say, this car is okay with me just like it is, and I relinquish my goal of getting across town? I want to be in this particular car at rush hour and nowhere else? Or is the goal more important ? Do you find another way to get across town? I'll bet you do. The next question is if you leave the useless hull sitting in your driveway. It might be fixable, after all, but lots of people have the unsightly things towed to the garage.
Hugs,
Smoke