I am also new at this! My husband of 17 years, started using Lortabs which then progressed to IV Fentanyl, a drug he works with and handles EVERYDAY! I am a nurse and I never knew! He lied to me. Now, I see it and feel very guilty for not knowing. I just thought we were having marital problems. We have 3 kids and we have not told them. He has been out of rehab for 3 months. I have attended alanon meetings and read everyday. BUT the wall between us is so strong. I do not trust him. I found this weekend 2 cards from an old female friend with a present in his car. He was hiding it from me. After all of this.....now I wonder if he has been faithful. I know I must detach and seek my own happiness. I just feel that I am so alone and unworthy. i feel so depressed and tired of crying to my friends (even though I know they love me). I just can't find it in me to be happy.