Welcome to SR. I am new here too and feel so fortunate to have found this site. It is filled with wisdom, hope and love. My story is similar to yours, although like Newcomer my husband got them from friends here and there and then his addiction grew. And grew. He is now in recovery after the third time I found out. I really want to believe him this time. I wish I had some words of encouragement for you but I don't, however you are not alone. It's a daily struggle trying to act like everything is "normal" with us and I wonder if we'll ever get past all this. The constant lies have ruined our relationship and I just keep praying that we will someday be in a better place... or at least that I will. He has to heal himself. I am trying to do the same. You will be in my prayers.