Thanks so much Dean.
I find myself in the same place. When I was drinking, even when I would lend a hand, my mind was still focused on 'whats in it for me'. Now, I try to follow the path that is set out for me. My Creator has given me a gift (one of many) - opening my eyes. My recovery program is helping me to understand just how wrong my emotional processes & instincts were & in many ways still are. I have to keep working at it. It has been such a shock to begin to understand this - to accept that much of my life perspective, my philosophy, my attitude was wrong for all these years. For me, this is huge - just honestly admitting it to myself opened everything up. And then to add this to the spiritual void that is being filled. I never feel alone (and, in retrospect, I never was). I was a different man 2 1/2 months ago - not a bad person - just sick, lost, and confused. I pray that I never go back there again.
It's really such a gift. I am just so incredibly grateful.