there's a first time for everything
This is my first time here--i stepped into the newcomer's forum...maybe this is where I need to be...my husband is a recovering alcoholic....we've been married for 8 years and have 3 beautiful children...he's just picked up his 90 day chip...i'm so proud of him...alcohol has been the central argument in our relationship for as long as I can remember..he's quit drinking before, but this time he truly seems committed to his sobriety...he's been going to aa for only a week...but seems to be helping...he's not going to the bar...here's the problem...I have no experience in the recovery aspect...only the actual addiction...i don't know what to expect...I truly feel I have been supportive of his sobriety, but i continually get the blame for everything imaginable and then some....I'm at a loss...we argue and bicker all the time it seems like (that's very out of character for us)...I don't know where to turn..there is no alanon group anywhere close to me...everyday into recovery seems like more and more he is returning to the a**hole he was when he drank...the only difference is then he knew he was being an a** and now he doesn't....it took me a very long time to make peace with "that" man...now he is threatening to walk away from me and our kids and i just don't know what to do...i don't know what to say...it seems like no matter what i say or do it's never the right thing...i love him....i have fought for 10 years to be with him...most of which was an uphill battle...i never for a second thought that his recovery would be easy...i guess i just didn't understand the affect it would have on me, on our marriage...i don't know what to do...the funny thing is that i survived the drinking, but now i don't know if i have the strength left to survive the recovery....i could always blame the alcohol before...that made it a lot easier...now i can't