((((Awww Painter))))
I know how much it hurts and how sick it makes us when all we can do is wait and wait and wait for something good to happen. There were days that I would tell God that I am so worn out, please God let something good happen for me today. Even if it is a small thing, just something good. Somedays my prayers were answered and somedays they weren't.
It makes it doubly hard when you also have the grandbabies to worry about. Sometimes no news is good news. Please stay positive....if anything was wrong, you would know.
Come and vent anytime you need to. You are not pitiful. It's okay, you are a mom and no one told us how we are supposed to be when we are in this situation. Your spirit has been crushed. But you know Painter, at some point our built in survival techniques take over and carry us through these times that are unbearable.
I can remember walking away from my daughter and leaving her 3000 miles away from home after brain surgery. Her abf at the time pushed her out of a moving car and she was taken into surgery and he was taken to jail. I flew out to be with her and found that she was heavy in addiction and she gave me no choice but to leave her because she didn't want to come home with me. I left her with her head stapled together, soon to be homeless and she didn't have anyone but the abf in jail. I bought her a coat, groceries and a phone and flew away. I cried for 7 hours on the plane. She did become homeless, sold her phone for drugs, her groceries ran out. She ended up in jail and I didn't bail her out. A few months later she did come home. All 95 pounds of her. She was a total mess. I lived through unbearable pain. But I did live through it.
Today she is in recovery and doing very well. She is beautiful and I am proud. She pulled herself up out of the bottom.
One day your AD will find her way. You have to stay healthy so you can be there for her when she comes back to you. I am praying for God to give you that little bit of something good. He knows that you need that to lift your spirits and I have faith that it will come to you. Please know that I care, bless you heart and don't lose faith.
Hugs.............Lo