My RAH's mom is an active alcoholic and I have made it clear to him (and he agrees) that when we have kids, his mom will never be around them drunk. I agree with FormerDoormat - they don't *have* to see this.
As an only child with no father I have seen my husband deal with his mother's drinking. I've heard the put downs, the manipulation, the pleadings, the deals etc. A very small part of me (like 0.01%) feels sorry for her because of all that she's missed out on, however IMO it was her choice to drink, it was her choice not to accept help when it was offered (her sister was nice enough to offer to pay for treatment for her).
She has since lost her job, her home, her family and it hasn't stopped her.
You say you can't blame your brother and father for shutting her out because of the pain she's caused them, but what about the pain she's caused you?
Invest the money in caller ID and don't answer the phone when she calls. Those 3 dollars a month will be a small price to pay for your peace of mind.
What do you do the week you don't have your kids? Do you have hobbies of your own?
Good Luck! And welcome to a fellow Canadian
