Your life is so full of stress. You might want to consider going to alanon meetings. You will be amazed at how stress relieving they are!
My mom is an alcoholic too. She's been sober for 30 years, but the alcoholic behavior remains. She's just not drunk any more.
Do post in the "adult children of alcoholics" board too. It really helps me a lot.
I had to learn to let go of my mom. I just can't handle the insanity any more.
She lives 2.5 hours away. I find this a comfortable distance.