Too Mutch
You haven't answered an important question that would allow others to empathize and support you.
Does your family/husband know? Have they suffered as a result of your disease?
My "opinion," based upon my family experiences and nothing else. Teenagers and Husbands should be able to handle an honest sit down with Mom. They are not "children" any more.
Can you tell them that their mother's life depends on what you are doing. Can you ask them if they would like you around when they have children? That could be what is at stake.
Doesn't mean they have to cease their crazy lives (they deserve to have "normal" lives). Just means that they may have to become a little more self sufficient right now. Not a bad thing for teen agers and Husbands to learn, by the way.
Rather than selfish, I can think of no greater gift that you might give them than a sober TooMutch.
Is inpatient treatment an option? If so, you might consider that. 21 days of focus. I've done it and it was wonderful. My kids were teenagers at the time (although in college).
It helped keep me sane and sober for quite a while, until my bloody brain got in the act.
Peace and Serenity
warrens