Epiphany ...
Just adding to my post here. After posting this - I just realized that the reason that I feel like I'm going crazy is not that I'm worried about him 'doing things' with other women. I'm afraid he's going to find another enabler and that's exactly what he's looking for. He knows that I'm slowly trying to get out, so he's scrambling to find someone 'new'! His desperation to find a new enabler is scaring me because I'm so addicted to that role. HOW SCARY IS THAT???!!! YIKES!
If thats all I've been for the past 12 years, I don't know what I would do with myself afterwards. I'm so addicted to being 'IT' that I have no life now. OMG - how do I just get a new life?