Jenn985

My name is Jennifer and I am married to a great guy who has been taken over by prescription drugs and other substances. We have a 1 month old daughter, who I fear is the only thing keeping him on this earth.

He's had a rough past. He was given up for adoption at the age of 3, because of molestation and abuse. He was adopted at the age of 6 just to have the same thing done to him. He told me he had used cocaine throughout high school off and on. He joined the military after graduation and served for 5 1/2 years. That's where I met him. He was in a bad car accident and broke his back a few years ago. The navy wouldn't let him have surgery for 2 years. Until his surgery, he was on Oxycontin, valium, vicodin, basically everything. He hasn't abused it up until recently. He was prescribed valium about 3 weeks ago. We went to visit some family about 2 hours away so they could see the baby and the entire weekend he was high! He blamed it on an allergic reaction.. But I was so embarrassed. He went back to work that week, and they ended up sending him home because he was too high to work. He realized his problem and told me where the valium was so I could take them away. I gathered up all of the medication, including some Tylenol 3's the doctor had given me and I currently have them locked away.

We went last week and enrolled him in an outpatient rehab. He seems like he really wants to do this, but just the other night I stole his phone before he could delete his messages and I found out he had asked my little brother if he could get him some aderol. He's never taken aderol, but my dad found a bottle of them in his bed, so my husband knew he had access to them. He said he just wanted something. Well now he feels so worthless because he has the cravings and he feels like everyone around him hates him. My problem is I don't trust him. We made a pact that he would tell me everything. So far he's been doing good, but I feel bad because every time he tells me hasn't been using, I have a really really hard time believing him.

He has a constant amount of blood in his nose. It's usually dry and never runs like a normal bloody nose. He told me the last time he did coke was before Christmas and he hasn't done it since I met him before that. If he only did it that one time, why would his nose be like that? Is that normal in any kind of detox? I want to believe him, I really do. But I also know that this disease is capable of ruining people.

I'm sorry this was so long winded, I just need a place where I can find help for not only him, but for me and our family. Can anyone help me?