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Old 02-19-2008, 09:40 AM
  # 6 (permalink)  
living present tense
Join Date: Jan 2008
Posts: 31
Hi Alera,
I was among the throngs of those who was here for a year, then faded away for a year, now happily back again. I know how it goes with life. So much back and forth, so much about allowing circumstances to get in our way. As well as our own not-always-best thinking.

Quite the oxymoron, "Avoiding avoidance" is. Perhaps as a skilled avoider I can put such techniques to good use, and invest in the practice of avoiding avoidance.

The plan, if it is a plan, perhaps more it's a directive, is to stand up for what I believe in, despite the discouragement, disappointment, disapproval I receive from others. After a lifetime of living to please others, I recognize that not only doesn't benefit them, it has taken so much from me. What purpose does avoidance of reality serve. It is destructive.

And it's not like I don't have anything worthy to offer, because I know I do. It's been hidden so long, it's scary to let it out. To live in the open. To be free. As though there's something out there to fear.

Ironic, it's my own fear that's kept me trapped.
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