I went and saw my ex at the county jail this morning to see about the paper work. He said that he asked for a notary but I needed to be patient because things take time in there.
He looks absolutely awful. He lost his front teeth this time around. Said he fell at the precinct and his teeth got knocked out. He hasn't shaved since he went in (back before Christmas). I cried. Apparently I'm not as tough as I thought. It's just hard to see him like that, and hear him so full of promises that this time is the last time, that he's going to go to rehab when he gets out, that he's done using. Gawd. Just typing that makes me want to cry. I've heard it all before. I still just have the ominous feeling that he will die soon after he gets out. I told him this and of course, he denied it. Said he was going to take care of himself. Asked if he could stay with us if he went to rehab. Asked if there was a chance we could get back together. Asked if I would bring his son to see him. Of course the answer to all these questions was no.
I have to stop typing now. It's just too sad. Apparently they are asking for 14 mos this time.