Sending hugs to both of you dear ladies. My heart hurts for you, but the next few years hold much promise for you and great possibilities for your A's. Movement forward, up or down, is still movement forward. You can choose UP for yourselves, and let the guys find UP when they choose to. I know what strength is, and you both are showing it even when you don't realize it. My friend reminds me of the song by Hall and Oates that has a phrase -- "The Strong give up and move on; the Weak give up and stay.