Oh cate, you sound so much like me, I looked back over your past post and saw how long you have been feeling this way and just sat here and cried, I keep hoping every day my nightmare will end. My ABF was clean for 6 mo. and now has been using since Jan. Sometimes I get so close to saying thats it and it's then that he SUX me back in... Just a little hope is all he needs to offer. I asked him to leave just a little over a week ago, I've noticed in one little week that when he's using he could care less, but as little as 24 hrs clean time allows him to hurt......... I really feel that is going to be the only way he will clean up again. This will never be over but I'd love another 6 mo of clean time, maybe then I can ask for a year. Sorry, just had to vent........