You know, obsessed, I had to detatch with anger for a LOOONNNGG time, before I was able to finally detatch with love.
My kid will run right over me, when she is full on in her "ism". And I will let her.
Here is an example - she and I have been yelling at each other every single conversation for two days. So I called her today, cause she normally doesn't pick up when she see's it's me.... but she picked up!! So, I told her I would rather leave and message... and she accommodated that request.
I can speak to her recorder, cause it doesn't INTERRUPT me!
But it is a way for ME to control MY self around her addiction. I think out what I want to say - then leave a message. She can delete it, if she wants... but I just need to SAY the thing calmy.
When you get stronger, you might consider changing your locks - it isn't that hard, really. There are kits at the hardware store - they can tell you what you need and how to go about it. Changing locks and letting her know she is not welcome might be a step you are not ready for TODAY. But you are making good progress, so it might happen at some point in the future. I wish you the best.
(((hugs))))