My thoughts on this, Moose, would be to take time and write how each one affected you at various times in your life. I know that I had "stuffed issues" with many members of my family that had nothing to do with substance abuse but that were instrumental in my codependency forming and growing.
For example, I feel today that my codependency is based on a fear of bad things happening to those I love, so I have spent my life from childhood protecting them and feeling responsible for their safety.
My father had cancer and died when I was 6. I knew nothing of cancer or death, and thought that if I was his little nurse and took care of him that he would get better. He didn't and I felt that I had not done "enough".
About a year later, my mother was almost murdered by a stranger who had got into our house and attacked her with an axe. Luckily? he just struck her with the blunt end and she was able to get away and grab me and run to a neighbours where we were safe until the police came and got him. It was just a freak thing, we lived in a good neighbourhood and didn't live a life conducive to violence, it was just a mentally disturbed man who happened to choose our house. She told me that it was the thought of getting me out of there that saved her, but she suffered from epilepsy the rest of her life due to the trauma to her head. I felt that I could have saved her from that too, although I know today that I could not have.
These things were never spoken of, at least not in any way that was "releasing" because people thought I would forget if it was left alone, and it wasn't until I was an adult in recovery that I felt comfortable talking about them and examining how it had affected me then and to this day.
There were other things, but I think these examples show what I mean. These were issues that needed to be addressed and emotions that needed to be released.
My son's addiction didn't cause my codependency, it just triggered the worst in me and took me down fast. If I had only focused on that, I would have missed some very important underlying events that had brought me to where I was.
I didn't mean for this to be so long, but wanted to share how so many events at various times in my childhood had a great impact on the person I became as an adult.
Today I can talk about things that were buried for years, and talk without pain because I got to address all of that when I worked my 4th step and then I could begin healing from wounds I had carried for years.
Hugs