I've been reading the responses to my post so far, and this seems like such a great place for me to be right now. I've never experienced anything like this before... I've had guys cheat on me and physically abuse me (my ex-husband did both actually!) and I got through that with so much strength and self-determination mostly I think because I was able to put closure on it. He was a jerk to me, and didn't respect me, and therefore I could move on without much reluctance. But in this circumstance, I have a person who treats me better then I've even been treated before... he's 100% honest with me (he never lies about when he's using... he always comes clean right away) and I really believed that he was the one for me. But everyone is right, that I have to get away from him right now, especially for the sake of my kids (who will be devasted, by the way, that they won't see him!). And I will attend an Alanon meeting this saturday, so maybe that will help me feel better. But at this point, i'm just hoping to hear from him soon so that I know he's still ALIVE and can tell him how I feel about this. Thank you all so much for your kind and supportive words!!:ghug3