((((Marle)))) From my experience, I know that the decisions you share had to be born out of a long painful process. They are born from trial and error. Most of us parents know the depths of heartache. We have tried many avenues to rescue our grown child from the abyss of addiction. In my case, trying to force solutions in the last few yrs. has only generated enormous stress in my own life and leaves me having to recover.
I will print the decisions you share. I have dismissed my son for long periods of time in the past and accepted his alienation. But only like a tiger laying low, watching from afar, building up the strength to pounce again.
I just completed a huge rescue mission and once again came up empty-handed.
I will intently ponder a new direction, because my decisions have not worked for my son. My decisons have not worked for me. It is time for me to be hard*ss.
Maybe it is time for me to WALK AWAY from my position. It really is about surrender to the fact that I am POWERLESS over many things, but specifically his addiction, his choices and the outcome of his life. It is time for me to stop feeling responsible, powerful and controlling. It is time for me to stop obsessing.
Thanks for the reminder that I have a different choice. Thanks for reminding me that rescuing my son at this point in time is contrary to my own serenity. Thanks for reminding me that I have a right to be angry. Thanks for reminding me that if my son wants recovery his desire will not be ignited by me. I have a right to enjoy the things in my life that are great. My relationship with him can not be mended at this point in time.
That saving him is not good for me. Moving forward, I will determine what is good for me and pounce of that. Thank you for you post today it resonates. Thank you for sharing an alternate way to see the situation of parenting an addict. Our children, even with limited maturation, are grown up.