Originally Posted by
concernedsister 
Although I will admit that it will be harder than hard to deal with her in jail because once she's stripped of the drugs she's such a wonderful girl, she's sweet, innocent, smart, funny, and when she's clean my heart will break talking to her and thinking about the sweet little girl I only see when she's clean sitting in a jail cell.
It's hard, but you've got to practice tough love on her.
One thing I've learned about addiction, especially opiates is that they change their brain. It numbs them. They no longer feel guilt, shame, or heartache. When you or I do something wrong, we feel those things and they drive us to do better. They learn that if they feel guilt or shame, a dose of heroin will fix that.
If she's been doing drugs for four years, she still has the emotional maturity of a 15 year old since kids stop maturing when they start doing drugs.
For an addict, it's all about what they can get away with, and nothing more.
You gave reasons why you don't want to go to al anon. How about a private therapist? It's clear this is eating you up inside. Maybe a professional might be better. A few nights ago at the family meeting at my step-daughter's rehab, I watched as the therapist played the role of "the addiction" and a father spoke to the addiction. He was in tears before very long. It was very emotional and touching.