I've had the same pattern. Fortunately, the boys father wasn't one! We got together on the rebound of my xah... I couldn't believe my luck. Well we had been friends for 7 years and we went from friends to being parents. We are best as just that.... but not in love.
After him I have had 2 addicts in my life. I'm realizing I never got over the codie behavior from my xah... and I'm now working hard on myself and what I want in life! Being with an addict doesn't fall into that category!
It's interesting I too would think this guy isn't as bad of an addict as the last...... and then dark comes to light!
Peace ~