KayM - just saw your post about the "anon" part. I too live in a small town, but my first step in figuring out about my marriage (this was before I knew about the addiction) I finally told my bf EVERYTHING. She couldn't believe I hadn't told her all these things, and as I finally said it out loud, the things I was ashamed to admit, that I felt like I was living a life that was less than I wanted and I had been accepting that, it was the biggest relief! My bf, of course, said I am NEVER to not tell her again when I'm not feeling good about something - 11 years of stuff came flooding out and 2.5 hours later I had just managed to hit the high-lights! But, letting go of the shame and embarrassment felt so good! I wasn't perfect, and it was OK. Then, when I found out about the addiction, since I was already an open book, I just went for it - I was not going to be ashamed of my life (or anyone else's) and what I was living or had lived any more because I was doing what I needed to do to help myself build the kind of life I do want, and that was more than OK. Just something to think about, and as for the "anon" part, they really do keep it anon, unless they know me and know I don't really have a problem with it. Think about it!