Hi mom, (I am her older daughter, not the addict who is my 19 year old little sister)
Stop letting this destroy you. You've done everything you can to help her. You paid for her to get into detox and she took off and lied and left and went to use. You still offered her a place to come home to and she couldn't because she was still busy using. She's a very bright girl, she knows how and where to go once she really wants help.
My mom has been through all of this many times, but for some reason she is taking it very, very hard this time. We are all afraid for her own mental state. This is just too much for her to bear and its most difficult for her because she blames herself for all of my sisters problems.
Mom, I do believe she will get help when she wants to. In the meantime, please take care of yourself and stop blaming yourself. You've been a wonderful mother to both of us. She's making her own choices right now and you can't force her into a rehab - she has to really, really, really want it and make that decision on her own. I want her to be clean as much as you do. I love her tremendously. I pray every day that she will find the strength to get and stay clean once and for all.
I love you!
Michelle