Hi cloe and welcome to best place you'll ever be in for support and recovery.
Read all you can here take what you can use and leave the rest.
This website saved my life. I feel strange calling SR a website because its more like a second home to me. There are alot of highly intellegent people in here and you'll learn so much from them,
One thing you probably need to do is stop the detective work, you're going to drive yourself crazy. I used to drive all over the place for hours just looking for my son, and what do I think I was going to do if I found him, stop his drug use, sheez that would never happen. You need to take care of yourself so that you can be there for your children and so that you can stay sane.
good luck