I am new here...
Hi. I am new here. I randomly found this website while searching for support for myself. It is hard for me to get out to nar-anon meetings with two small children. I don't want to leave my AH home alone with them anymore. I am so past the hurt and am in more of an angry or "I don't care" phase when it comes to our relationship. It saddens me to think this is how my life turned out. I know it isn't my fault but I wonder how long I can stay in a marriage without trust and respect for me or for himself. I am really hoping that "this time" it will get better and he will continue with getting help. Maybe I am fooling myself. Some days I pretend things are normal again, but I know I am lying to myself. I really have nobody to understand how I feel since it's always about him and his depression and drug use. Everything feels so hopeless right now as I wait for "something" to happen. I feel as if I am always just waiting... I have turned into the best detective and at least that occupies my mind a bit. But is it healthy? Anyway, just thought I would share a bit and hope to make some friends who understand me. Thanks for listening!