This is kind of long but I just need to let it out! Usually I can deal with holiday stress pretty well and I have lots of boundaries to protect myself from manipulation, but this year I just feel like I'm getting pulled every which way!
It's my first Thanksgiving in Texas (instead of Ohio), so my mom (prescription drug addict, co-dependent, I could go on and on and on) is calling every few days to remind me how she'll be eating a tv dinner this year as my 2 other siblings aren't having her to dinner or going to her house. Also calling just to let me know I could have came home for the holidays, with no regard to my financial situation and no thought that just maybe I am homesick and would love to come home but can't.
On top of that, my aunt lives here in Texas. She and my uncle and my 2 cousins are the only family I have within a thousand miles. She's my alcoholic father's sister and I swear to god she's a dry drunk. She's very negative yet at the same time often nice. But she always belittles you and her children or her family have always done something betteer than you have. She has an unreasonable temper and expects everyone to tiptoe around her.
She's just taken over my holidays. I've made Thanksgiving dinner for myself for the last 11 years and now it's just assumed that I'll turn the holiday over to her when honestly I'd rather it just be my husband and my dog and me, watching the parade, eating and relaxing. But I don't want to hurt her feelings. She has this way of turning any percieved slight into this huge issue and I don't want the hassle.
But then she called me yesterday to tell me that she had a great idea - I'm having everyone over for Christmas Eve!
I just spent last night crying. I don't feel like I have the strength to set boundaries with yet another inappropriate person in my life. Frankly, my parents wore me out; that's why I moved 1400 miles away! Maybe I need to head farther west.