Lost,
I know the helpless feeling you're having. You so want her to make it. The problem is we, as parents, have no control over them and their addiction.
I know with my daughter I could suggest programs/meetings all day long. I could ask for promises. I could try to strike all kinds of deals with her, but none of that worked, especially when she was in early sobriety. Asking for a promise from you daughter who is just barely keeping her head above water, sobriety wise, is like asking Britney Spears to promise to be a good parent by next Tuesday. It's just not possible at this point.
To this day, my daughter doesn't want me interferring in HER program, HER life, and how she maintains her sobriety.
The best thing I ever did was get out of the way and let her HP get to her. That way the 2 of them could work it out. And I could actually focus on my life. What a concept ... me, living a full life. My daughter's addiction almost sucked that concept right out of me. Thank the Lord for Al Anon. I've learned so much in those meetings.
Just my 2 cents worth...
Hugs,
Hangin' In