lostparent,
IMO, we hear want we want to hear. In my case, when my oldest said he didn't want to attend meetings, "cause all they talk about is using", and "I'm not sure I believe in a H.P." ...my heart sank.
It wasn't MY vision of HIS recovery!
Then I went to a meeting, and opened my books, and once again, let go, and put the focus back on ME.
In the long run, it doesn't matter HOW they do it, if they WANT it...anything is possible.
Hugs, and prayers