I agree with Hope.
I have never been in a relationship with an alcoholic but learnt as a child never to trust anyone. This damaged much of my intelligence. I was a very cautious, untrusting, nervous sort of person. I questioned most things unnecessarily but over time as I built my confidence up, became my own person and starting loving myself back, much of this went away. I believe it is all about you, not him or the past. We tend to accept what we have learned if you know what I mean. It takes alot of hard work to love yourself when it has been damaged. I look at it this way, when I am happy with myself and content, the doubt doesnt enter my mind. Dont get me wrong, that scared girl comes back to haunt me sometimes but I just have to keep working on it and you can too. Maybe try working on you for a while first and spend time with people who care about you and are honest.