Gosh GNS, that's a tough situation to be in.
I'm not ready to be in a relationship yet, so I haven't had to be tested on the issue of trust as far as a romantic relationship is concerned.
I know that going into it, I would be questioning every little thing he would say or do, because of my past relationships. That wouldn't be fair to a new man in my life, hence, that is why I'm not even trying at this point.
But, because I KNOW trust would be an issue for me, I think I might ask myself some questions along the way, and I am just guessing here, ok?
- Does he do what he says he's going to do?
- Is he consistant in his words and actions?
- Is he secretive?
- Or, do I imagine him being secretive? (comparing him to my exs)
- Do a recognize a familiar conversation and immediately fall back into my old patterns
of reacting? Yup, I would probably do that!
- But, do I recognize it much quicker now, so I can work on changing it? Hopefully, yes!
- What would be the worst thing that would happen if he proved he wasn't trustworthy?
- How many second chances (if any) would be given in that event?
- Will I survive and go on living my life if he proves not to be trustworthy?
Of course the answer there will be YES!!!
I know I probably haven't helped much...just tossed some ideas out there for you to consider...straight from my brain, which admittedly isn't a very reliable source these days, LOL!
P.S. As far as 'your gut' goes...pay attention to it, don't ignore it, but, give it some time to see if it is your 'gut' speaking to you, or, the past coming back to haunt you. Sometimes it can be hard to know the difference when emotions are involved. Time will tell!