Cail...
You do have the strength to make it through. Your HP will see to that.
I now view bad decisions, stupid actions, just plain not thinking, and other stuff like that by my kids as opportunities to learn what they need to learn in order to get to where their HP wants them to be. It's amazing that once I turned my stinkin' thinkin' around (that would be my negative thinking that the worst is always going to happen) to seeing these setbacks as opportunites for them to learn what they need to learn in order to grow up and be responsible, my life began to get better.
And my kids, well, they are learning, slowly but surely, like their mama.
You hang in the Cail. Your HP hasn't brought you this far only to drop you.
Hugs,
Hangin' In