thank you for your story, cyp-girl. stories help all of us. and i admire you for your decision not to just react but to also act....as you have by coming here.
you are very much in love and newly married, so that means you are nowhere near making a decision to end the marriage. it is too soon and at this point unnecessary.
but there is much work to be done, now that you are fully aware that the disease of addiction is controlling your life and your relationship. i do hope there are meetings locally, for if you start going, over time, just what you need to hear will be said at just the right time for you to hear it. you are deeply committed to this man, so you must do what the experts on addiction say, if you want to have a real chance to change your life.
good books: "the addictive personality" (craig nakken)
"getting them sober" (toby rice drews) and "it's not okay to be a cannibal: how to keep addiction from eating your family alive".
it is important not to be isolated, for an addict is always in complete control when one is isolated with him.
sending you much hope for real change.