My gut reaction to your post was ... (of COURSE, ffrom 'left field') but -
That's the disease.
That's how it gets us drinking.
It plays on our capacity to TRUST ...
refusing to let us SEE that we've always been 'watched out for' ...
I mean, who but an alcoholic/or an addict can GET into the scrapes WE get into and survive? 'God surely loves a drunk" - you know that saying?
Who OTHER than a 'protected' one?
C'mon!!!
It's the disease.
Eating away.
Getting it's hold.
That is how it does it.
And you get to the point you think - the only way I can shut this voice up is to have a drink.
My friend -
I'm telling you ...
drinking - has never solved a problem in your life.
or using. Or whatever your choice of slow poison is.
I don't know you, I don't know your story, and for this -
I don't need to. Because it's what we share. Because I already know.
Drinking ... using ... CAUSED all these problems.
Call your sponsor.
Ask .. about the third step.
And if you've done it -
ask again.
It's all about the trust in a Power Greater than Ourselves.
"Relieve me of the bondage of self."
*prayers for your peace of mind*
barb