Hi Kay. It doesn't sound like a wasted day in your life. It sounds like you came to an important realization about yourself. You can't control anything but your own actions and your reactions to others. I think that is a positive step forward when someone realizes that.
I have had to let go of my need to control everything. It took practice but I am getting much better at it.
I simply pray the serenity prayer every time I start feeling the need to control others. I put them in my Higher Power's hand and I focus on my own actions.
Hang in there. Life is a journey. You don't have to stay where you are. You can get movin'.