Nikki -
I swore I would never get involved in another drug testing debate on SR - I always feel crappy and condemned afterwards. However, I obviously can't resist.....
When my RAH moved in with me and my two sons he told me that he wanted to set up a random drug testing thing. Initially, he was going to use an outside lab but the cost was prohibitive. His relapse prevention counselor highly recommended it though....think about it....why do companies do random drug testing? It's because they don't want people working for them that use drugs. Do they catch everyone? No - but I'm sure it deters quite a few. I know its kept me drug free for the last 18 years. I used until then I started working in a drug free environment. The drug tests are what kept me away from pot, cocaine, and ecstacy....no joke.
Anyway, he did the random drug testing for the first year that we were together. It was understood that if he flunked the test that he was out. Period. The end. I was willing to randomize the tests (really nice man that owned a drug testing company taught me how to do it) as long as he never copped an attitude or acted resentful. He never did act ugly or like I was his momma. He told me that the way it needed to be done for him was to be told - hey, it's time to pee. He had to go straight into the bathroom and I had to watch him go. Those were all his suggestions. He knew his way around faking the tests...he also knew that he couldn't fake that. We ordered 5 panel tests on the internet (25 for 125.00) Results were immediate. He swears that had a huge impact on his ability to make it through that first year. Honestly, it really helped me to feel safer as well. Would I have eventually known if he used? Of course. But I really did feel better. Also, I feel better that there are tests in the closet if I should ever have my suspicions. They haven't been necessary though. It's just the reality that he and I deal with - he was a long time drug addict. It helped both of us a whole lot to have the testing early on. It really did not have anything to do with control issues from our point of view. It just seemed like a good one to handle a nasty issue.
The physician recovery program in my state has a 90% recovery rate - that is better than any rehab in the country. I asked the director what they did that was so different. Among other things, he said that the doctors had to participate in random drug testing - they discovered that accountability was key for their recovery.
I don't know....everyone has their own opinion. I think that the main thing is to know what you will do if you test someone and it's positive. If you don't have concrete consequences that you know that you will follow through on I can see why it really doesn't matter.
Just my two cents - Donna