Barb,
Don't you realize by your "failure" you show others that it is a tough battle. By your "failure" others realize that when they too slip, it isn't the end of the world. During your "failure" you came back and had another go at it. Dear Lady, that is not a description of "failure." Maybe an example of a human being fighting a very strong, tenacious addiction, but not a failure. You will undoubtedly have a positive influence on others struggling with the bottle. They will see it is ok to start again without being a failure.
Peace—
Padraic