Krhea,
Hugs to you my friend...I definitely relate to how you are feeling. I think these wise moms here have said everything there is to say. I like how Cece put it...
It seems your son is a lot like mine in that rather than doing EVERYTHING wrong, he does just enough right to make me think he needs my help to stay on track.
...Wow I didn't even realize until reading what she wrote that this is
exactly what I was feeling when my daughter was in early recovery.
I know you have to do what you can live with, but you have been taking so many positive steps in letting him face his own consequences. I too agree with Marle; the pattern of bad choices that lead to this were completely his and if you can live with not bailing him out, this may be a great opportunity for him to grow. Recovery isn't just about being drug free. If he wants to stay drug free, he has to start working on change. Unfortunately change can't occur when we keep rescuing or protecting.
I do agree the cop put you in a really lousy position...geez.
Big hugs.