((((((((Rose)))))))
I can relate to your having to deal the anger your A shows....It seems to me that the anger comes out when they can't handle or aren't able to fix even a small thing . I've been told well it's easy for you to handle this... If we have a job of authority we go to sometimes, we forget others simpley can not do what we can ...I believe the anger on the part of my husband comes from HIS inability to deal with it..
Ann , suggestion of you including your husband atleast verbally is a very good option.....Just as I like to feel a part of my family, my Al-Anon group, my circle of friends, I believe our spouses do to...especially if they see us growing in a program of recovery and they don't have one yet...It's easy for me to believe if I can do it easily anyone should. I have learned in Al-Anon that isn't so whatsoever... It helps me to be a kind more loving person to remember the things my spouse can do today.
Take care and hope that helps.