Penny
Just a suggestion, but instead of managing HIS recovery, why not look into some recovery for yourself. Go to some meetings, Al-Anon, Nar-Anon, CoDA, snything that will help you get off this roller coaster ride you have been taking.
Your instince tells you that he is in trouble, and I believe you are right. Only he can get help for himself. I disagree with Quitter about him having any control. Binge drinking is an "out of control" situation. Don't want to debate this with anyone, it's my opinion based on many many personal observations. There ae "functioning" alcoholics who appear quite responsible and normal to the rest of the world, but who are, in fact, just as addicted as "non-functioning" alcoholics. Any they, too, get arrested, get sicker, and die.
I just noticed that I, too, am talking more about him than you, and apologize. You need help. We all do, and the sooner we get help for ourselves, the sooner we return to some semblance of sanity.
Good Luck.
Hugs